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Posted by / 09-Oct-2017 04:57

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—me, right now, and for the next three months Today is the first day of spring. For me (and millions of people like me), spring isn’t romantic. I’ll be the first to admit that, in an evolutionary sense, I’m not very well adapted to my environment.After a long, cold, altogether inhumane winter, the prospect of being able to leave my home without transforming into a wedding reception-ready human ice sculpture is thrilling. Every March, the planet Earth and my body mutually reject one another.All informations on this page are taken from public sources such as search engines (,,

And as far as direct results go, this one’s easily the least disturbing of what I have to offer.

But while Doares implies your filthy house is a sign of faulty character — “you don’t care enough about your environment to take care of it,” she argues, semi-reasonably — we understand that sometimes life happens. You don’t have time to actually do them, but you do have time to pretend you intend to do them in the future.

Nothing kills budding romance like the vague stench of cat pee and a towering stack of unrecycled takeout containers. Time: two or three minutes, depending on how dire your straits. Dishes encrusted with cereal remains from three weeks ago in the sink just mean you’re human.

I love going on dates that involve any and all of these things. I have terrible seasonal allergies, and my immune system has already started shutting down.

If I were let loose in the wilderness — without my phone, prescriptions, contact solution, or Luna bars of any variety — I’d last about half an hour.

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Suggest you both call in sick for the first warm day and bring a blanket to the park. You’ve been sleeping together “casually” all winter. In the Czech Republic it’s good luck for a girl to be kissed under the pink trees on May 1st.