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She did not explain what a lass with a German email address was doing in Boulder, Colorado. Instead I forwarded the email to my wife, a professor of family law, with a note that read, “Am I receiving this because of the ‘research’ you’ve been doing on Ashley Madison from our home IP address? “Maybe I should check whether you’re in the database.” Not long afterward, I came across a story about the blackmail emails that some Ashley Madison members were getting—“sextortion” is the clever neologism.
Buried deep in the article, a cyber-security expert said members could also expect to be bombarded with email solicitations for sexual services.
It felt in some way dirtying, like going to a pawn shop in a bad part of town to retrieve a stolen watch. The chief question my wife and I have is: How did I end up in Ashley Madison’s dump pile at all?
We have yet to find out, but we have several theories.
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(Happily, my wife did not for a minute think me unfaithful, just as I would not have doubted her; it’s that kind of marriage.) One possibility is that identity thieves put me in the database.